God prepared the way for me when I lost my job before Palm Sunday. My service during Holy Week with Mission Youth was interrupted when I got sick. It was a challenge to keep going; I needed help carrying my cross.
On Easter I rejoiced. As my spirit was lifted, my pain subsided. I felt the Spirit comforting me that He will raise me up and restore me.
Before the Pentecost, I waited for God’s answer about a job I felt called to. I didn’t get it. At this point I mourned because I was at the end of the road I felt led to. Did all my preparation and calling lead to a dead end?
On Divine Mercy Sunday I realized the apostles were feeling the same way. Locked in a upper room in fear, not sure if Christ had appeared to the women, wondering if He was truly gone along with their purpose in life. The disciples thought their sole purpose was to follow, but God had another plan. Christ told them they would do greater works than He; He was calling them to take up His mission and lead with the Holy Spirit (John 14:12). I hope He has a similar plan for me.
Sometimes roads don’t lead to what we expect (even with pure intentions). When we get to the end of the rainbow, we realize it was only a gift in sight, not in touch. I wanted to find the pot of gold; I wanted to have a destiny at the end of the call. Sometimes God calls us for the journey in preparation for the next.
When the rainbow fades, when the journey ends, it’s empty. Standing still after moving with purpose is a heart-wrenching experience. Though it seems hopeless, I know these moments are Spirit filled.
I’m struggling to have faith while the dust to settles. I know I must take it one day at a time. It is not my will here; my life belongs to Christ and like Him, I am called to a purpose through God’s eyes.
God knows where I need to be.
He knows what He is teaching me.
With open arms I look into His eyes
There is no disguise… I don’t understand.
He looks at me with wide eyes
Absorbs my pain yet patiently stands by.
He knows His plan will be carried out in time
And I need to trust Him without knowing why.
God’s way isn’t the easy one, but after the suffering- the wilderness… there’s a promise land.